Of Sheep and Cattle, Horses and MLAs

The time has come,' the Walrus said,

      To talk of many things:

Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax —

      Of cabbages — and kings —

And why the sea is boiling hot —

      And whether pigs have wings.'

                                                            Lewis Carroll

In the past few weeks, we have witnessed a spectacle which is routine in Indian politics but sadly, nauseating. I must confess that I am personally happy with the end result, being a BJP supporter, but not at all happy about the events leading to it. Hence readers can be assured that my below comments will be non-partisan.

For the past forty years or so we have seen elected legislators aka MLAs or MPs being shepherded into buses and chartered planes to unknown ‘safe’ destinations where they are housed in Resorts which is used as the human equivalent of the Cattle Pound.

[A cattle pound is a place where stray livestock were impounded. Animals were kept in a dedicated enclosure, until claimed by their owners, or sold to cover the costs of impounding.]

They happily board the bus like eager school children going for an excursion. The school children at least pay for the expenses. Here it is all on the house.

In these days of mobile communication where one feels handicapped by the absence of the phone in hand for a few minutes, they willingly (at least that’s what we are told) switch of their phones and remain incommunicado with the rest of the world.

There are ludicrous claims by the party to which they originally belonged that they have been kidnapped!

Even worse, they claim that they have been bought. By making this claim, are they not admitting that those to whom they gave party tickets are a saleable commodity?

Even worse is, these MLAs have absolutely no sense of shame.

During all these claims and counter claims, they remain mute spectators and take all the insults and abuses in their stride. The rewards at the end, whether they are tangible or intangible, visible to the public eye or hidden, more than compensate for bearing with the insults.

There have been times when they return sheepishly to their original flock. No rewards in such cases, only a reprimand and a stern warning that in future they should not even think of going astray.

Ironically, all this horse- trading happens with the aim of a forming a Stable Government.

When the time of reckoning (trust vote) draws near, not just those that have gone astray (“rebels” in political jargon), even those who remained are taken away for voluntary imprisonment lest some of them may go astray. Just for good measure, the other party too does the same  to ensure that their flock stays together. Despite all this, there will be a few members stolen by either side reminding us of the scene straight out of PG Wodehouse’s Pigs Have Wings.